EPICANTHUS

PYONGYANG, DPRK.—North Korea’s Dear Leader Kim Jong-il reportedly was enraged when he saw a photo of L.A. Galaxy soccer star David Beckham posing with journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee after Kim had pardoned them just three weeks earlier, according to Asian News International.

Sources deep within the Hermit Kingdom say the 68-year-old Kim is now intent on defeating Beckham and the English team if his North Korean national squad should meet them in next year’s World Cup and has promised his players cash bonuses and a party to end all parties if they beat the Brits.

• Becks Incurs Wrath of NKorea’s Kim Jong-il, Gaea Times
• David Beckham: He’s No Bill Clinton, but… Eonline
• NKorea Prepping 3rd Nuke Test, AFP