I was trying to SuperGlue some genuine cubic zirconia onto my Casio G-Shock so it’d look like one of them iced-out G-Shocks IFandCo do with real stones when my young brutha Carlos Marumoto of the Somalian Pirate Media team popped into Epicanthus HQ (Rachel Roh’s Silver Lake condo) at 4 a.m. on Christmas Eve with tall tales of his boogie boarding expedition to Panama.

He went on and on about how great the people were and how delicious the mariscos were and he gushed about the local night life and the unabashed anti-American sentiment down there.

“They’ve got clubs in Casco Vieja you wouldn’t believe, man, and the reggaeton mesmerises you and mujeres can be loco but not in a bad way, you hear what I’m sayin’?”

“What’s that on your leg?”

“Oh, that’s just some something something that started growin’ after I scratched it fallin’ off a motor scooter. Some kinda fungus. Really itchy. But that’s not why I’m here, man.”

“That shit looks like pus-filled mushrooms growing all down your shin. Better have that looked at.”

“Well, you gonna let me finish my story or not, man? On our last night in San Blas, I was getting all feverish. It was a real trip, man. I was shivering and having weird dreams and shit, and Esme goes, ‘I’d better go to the farmacia for some mycins.'”


“Oh, Esmeralita’s this half-Japanese, half-Panamanian chick who’s married to a guy on the national soccer team or some shit. Anyway, while she’s gone, I start jonesing for some Abba-Zabba. Man, it was like that scene outta Half Baked, you know, with Dave Chappelle. Man, that nifka cracks me up. Funniest dude on this planet. No doubt. Anyway, where was I?”

Summarizing C-Los’ story: Esmeralita’s father is a general in the Panamanian Air Force, and her little brother, Yamato, is a USC dropout and a major geek who likes to hook up his overclocked ASUS netbook into this thing called Pico Pocket Projector via a DVI-to-RCA adapter and he uses it to project first-run movies onto the sides of buildings at night for free before they’re even released theatrically in the Estados Unidos. His setup has surround sound and the whole magilla and he can easily tote the hardware around in a backpack on his black fixie no sweat.

Anyway, he had a beau-coup copy of the posthumous AEG Michael Jackson homage This Is It from a friend who works at a post house in L.A., and every night he was beaming it onto the side of one of the 7-Eleven franchises his father owns and all the graf crews and hipsters and street kids and underage putas would show up to watch.

The video below was cut with FCP from Somalian Pirate Video guerilla Yamato Torrijos’ digital copy of This Is It using a Quo ProQ Mac clone he says he got in Alhambra, California back in September prior to the film’s release. The edit is the duet where MJ sings “I Can’t Stop Loving You” with the amazing Japanese American singer Judith Hill.

Aquí Está—this is the song that would have stopped the show if there had been a This Is It concert in London this summer,” Yamato wants everyone to know. Aquí Está.

This vid won’t be up long. It will be gone like a dream, and it won’t be on YouTube.

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